Not Me! Monday

Does it ever seem like the time between Mondays is waaaaay shorter than the time between Fridays?  Yeah, I know, that's totally impossible and all that, but tell me it doesn't feel like it.  And since that's the case, it always astounds me how much I don't do between Mondays, leaving me with absolutely nothing to write about along with MckMama and all the others during this most cleansing of blog carnivals.



So, since I am of course, totally into New Year's Resolutions and I always keep them and would never have abandoned that practice sometime around my 12th year of life, I naturally made a list of uber-ambitious resolutions including whipping my mushy, toneless, amoeba-like body into shape.   (Not that I'm not already a pinnacle of fitness, of course... um.)  Indeed, I'm so ambitious I would never turn to something as kitschy as Wii Fit to help me do something - anything hone my already stringent exercise routine.  And since each calorie burned and each minute of exercise is carefully charted as I progress towards that goal I of course set, I wouldn't EVER allow my toddler to hula-hoop his day away with my Mii, racking up false progress.  Uh... yeah, never....

Right.  Anyway.  That is also NOT my cup of coffee in the background - everyone knows that exercise requires one to hydrate with water and NOT coffee.  For that matter, I may as well inform you that there would NEVER be Cheet-o crumbs on my Wii board that fell off my shirt while I was doing yoga.  Never. For shame!

Also part of that huge list of resolutions that of course I made is a dedication to conservation.  Though, I understand, as a former Prius driver, naturally I am already near perfection in this endeavor, there is always room for improvement.  So I'd never consider using bath-time as a way to occupy the kids, even when they aren't dirty because that would be a waste of water and natural gas and a $300 utility bill is not worth the 45 minutes of relative peace I get out of a bath.

Finally, you'll all be shocked to know that yes, I too, occasionally have a less than perfect house so I've added to my resolutions a devotion to maintaining a meticulous household.  This in no way will be an easy task since I'll actively need to search for things to improve upon, obviously.  But rest assured that I wouldn't ever assume I was fulfilling that goal by using an entire box of baby wipes to scrub down my couch after I found a snot-spot on it and deciding that it was time to try to de-baby-bodily-function-ify the furniture.  I mean, clearly my couches are already perfectly spotless and such mediocre cleaning practices would go against several of my afore-mentioned resolutions, not to mention my already-superior nature.

Don't worry, I'm also never sarcastic.