Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Little Too Intrepid?

See, I think of these ideas that ALWAYS seem simple and straight-forward when I think of them.

Very rarely is that ever ACTUALLY the case.

Take, for example, my garden in Georgia: 6'x24' box filled with dirt... insert seeds, add water, enjoy veggies. Brilliant! Well, add in the never-ending battle against weeds, weird vines, mysterious bugs, birds, stray dogs, blistering heat and unpredictable changes in soil pH and you've got yourself a full-time endeavour.

Making home videos always turns out to be a royal pain; mixed media file types being incompatible with editing software, iTunes versus .mp3 files, funky sound layering... blah blah blah it's just a Herculean effort to edit it, let alone burn it to a DVD.

Even making dinner is always complicated by something like a fully loaded dishwasher that for some reason didn't run, a toddler that decided to steal the cheese I needed to grate off the counter for a snack for himself and his rabbit pal, still-frozen meat I thought was fully thawed, etc.

Therefore, when I made the statement to Justin that "oh, don't worry about buying a new chair for the twins' nursery... I'll just make a slipcover for the chair we had in Jack's room," I can't believe I didn't already hear the alarm bells blaring in the back of my mind. I don't know what possesses me to make flippant, off-hand statements like that and actually believe that it won't immediately turn into a giant nightmare. Am I incapable of learning from experience? Do I honestly believe that any project will be a matter of "oh I'll just do ____"? Is it a matter of me convincing myself that THIS is the ONE - the project that will really be as simple as it sounds?

Honestly, I don't know the answer. All I know is that a slipcover sounded easy to make. Step 1: Buy sheet. Step 2: Drape over chair. Step 3: Gather and pin in appropriate places. Step 4: Sew seams. Step 5: Embellish with ribbon. Viola! A slipcovered chair that matches the decor of the nursery! When I made it match Jack's room, I actually re-upholstered the cushions that came with the chair when we bought it (for $100 in college) which was exhausting work. Slipcovering sounded WAY easier because the fabric would only be sewn to itself, not to the cushions themselves.

Um. Buying the sheet was easy, and so was draping it over the chair, but so far, after nearly an hour, I have the fabric gathered and pinned at ONE corner of ONE arm. And I'm realizing that there is really no hope of symmetry in this project, either. Or of finishing before they're born... before they're 12. Having a little more knowledge and experience would probably be useful, but where, exactly do you find a class on "how to make a slipcover for a random chair that you're too cheap to just replace"?

Oh, and let me add that I don't own a sewing machine. So once I DO actually get this thing to look mildly decent with the 400 safety pins I purchased, I will be sewing the whole thing by hand... old-fashioned style. Because I have nothing but time on my hands?

What was I THINKING?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Dirtiest Text I Ever Sent Justin

"Cox coming tomorrow to check out the box. Couldn't do it over the phone... it must be firm. No we aren't paying for them to come."

Let me interpret: Cox is our cable company and our DVR receiver box is on the fritz. They tried to update the software over the phone, but it didn't work because it's most likely the firmware and they have to update that themselves., in person, or else replace the box. I abbreviated firmware to "firm" to save time, but it all just ended up looking like an absolutely filthy message. And because this is a problem with their junk (hehehe, see, I can't stop now) not ours, we shouldn't have to pay for the service call.

So, despite my juvenile sense of humor and love of all innuendos and fart jokes, this is actually an entirely innocent message that just looks amazingly lascivious. Either way, it should put a smile on Justin's face at work.


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