Saturday, April 30, 2011

Making Mommyhood Sexy...

...is totally not what this post is about.  At all.

I am not a sexy beast right now.  Unless "sexy" equals weird-smelling, rumpled, spit-up crusted, messy-bunned zombie.

Obviously, then, I'm right up your alley.

I'm pretty sure I've been wearing the same cami/shirt combo for about 4 days.  Maybe 5.  I can't tell.  I could probably do carbon-dating on the various spit-stains on the shoulders and figure it out if I cared to.  Occasionally I swap out the pants - PJ's for most of the time, maternity jeans for those occasions that require a public appearance - but truthfully, even that is only because they get wet from bathwater and I can't stand the feeling of cold, soggy pants any longer. 

(I'm almost afraid to change clothes in case Peyton no longer recognizes me as her mother.)

It's not that I look hideous... it's just that I've got about 4 shirts that look good and are comfortable and give quick access to boobs.  And once I find something that works, why change?  Right?  Right.  That's what I'll tell myself. 

Because yesterday, I rolled out of bed in my jeans.  Yep.  Jeans.  I wore jeans to bed and didn't even realize it.  I shrugged and just kept going. 

It's all about convenience.

The best part of all this?  Less.  Laundry. 

I hate laundry, so this is flipping fantastic.  So much so that I don't bat an eyelash when I use my shirt hem for a burp rag.  (Don't worry, I draw the line at using it as a baby wipe during a diaper change.  Barely.)  Even LESS laundry.  Bonus!

This is not sexy or cool or fashionable, and I'm totally aware of this.  But by the time I stuff 16 wiggling limbs through 16 cruelly-small holes and cover 8 adorable little butt cheeks with undies or diapers and find 8 socks and 6 shoes and create 4 pig tails, figuring out how to make my squishy butt fit in anything designer or making a cute shirt nursing-friendly isn't high on my priority list. 

Besides, honestly, it doesn't matter how hawt I may or may not look... when I'm out in public with my zoo, people are going to look at me like I'm crazy.  (And I've gotten both the "Wow, good thing you neglect your kids to put on makeup" comments and the "wow, good thing you don't care about your appearance" comments so someone will always be unhappy.)

So you won't find me looking like Grace Kelly any time soon... but you won't find me losing any sleep over it either.  Friends, yes, I might lose friends over it.  But then again, I'm always nice to have around so I can be that girl that everyone keeps around to make themselves feel better.  I'm sweet like that.

4 comments:

Arizona Mamma said...

I'm a fellow laundry hater. Evidence of this is strewn all over one of my couches, and my bedroom floor. I've been ignoring its cries for me to fold it for well over a week.

I don't envy laundry for FOUR little ones!

Kate said...

I plan to rock the spit up look, thankyouverymuch.

I must be weird....I adore doing laundry. It makes me feel so productive. But I love ironing even more for the same reason.

*Jess* said...

Grunge mommies unite!! :)

KimBerly said...

That's funny because I'm the exact same way. I think it's a Mommy thing.

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