Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Moving was exhausting. Jack fell asleep in my lap while we were unpacking the kitchen.
Living room tree...
...Dining room tree (yes I have two - don't judge me.)So this is really what I've been up to: We moved into our new house in Virginia on December 4th with the help of Grandma and Grandpa Gallagher - HUGE BLESSING! - and spent the next two weeks getting it unpacked, arranged, cleaned up (it was dusty and needed lots of little touches), and decorated for Christmas. Once we got here, on top of all that I had to entertain my adorable kiddo, build miles of train tracks, visit Children's Museums, go hunting for trains to watch since Jack can hear their whistles, stock the pantry we (finally!) have here, go Christmas shopping, wrap presents, buy a mini van, get our cable and internet fixed, I have school work that I should be doing more regularly, we've got awesome friends we are oddly compelled to hang out with, and so on and so forth.
Giving Enzo some love...
...and running away with Enzo...
...like I said... Miles of train track...
Christmas was amazing and basically perfect...
Justin and I are finding ourselves obsessed with spoiling Jack beyond anything we could ever have imagined as kids. Our latest endeavor was the purchase and construction of quite possibly the most amazingly complete playhouse/slide/fort combination out there for a toddler (and still under the $300 mark!)...
Next up from the grandparents will probably be a Power Wheels. Meanwhile my mom's Christmas gifts of new shoes, museum memberships, etc. are going to good use early on... The whole combination of things means I am very busy. That also translates into being in extraordinary amounts of pain thanks to the Twins Gallagher. In fact, I spent yesterday in the ER trying to figure out what was causing the obscene cramping I was feeling in my lower abdomen. As it turns out the twins are heads-up in my belly, their feet pointing toward the ground, and they've smushed together just behind my belly-button. Their little head are resting together and they're basically hugging which, while adorable, makes a fairly solid mass of baby that is situated directly above my cervix and the combination of that and gravity means my body is doing everything it can to keep them in place... which leads my uterus to be constantly clenched to deal with the pressure. AWESOME. I was ordered to "take it easy" and "get plenty of rest" and "lay down frequently". HAHAHAHAHA.
So that's where I've been.
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Friday, November 28, 2008
Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...
You Are a Grace!
You are a Grace -- "I need to understand the world."
Graces have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Be independent, not clingy
- * Speak in a straightforward and brief manner
- * I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts
- * Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable
- * Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity
- * If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place
- * don't come on like a bulldozer
- * Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy
What I Like About Being a Grace
* standing back and viewing life objectively
* coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
* my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
* not being caught up in material possessions and status
* being calm in a crisis
What's Hard About Being a Grace
- * being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
- * feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
- * being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
- * watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally
Graces as Children Often
- * spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
- * have a few special friends rather than many
- * are very bright and curious and do well in school
- * have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
- * watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
- * assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
- * are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
- * feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Graces as Parents
- * are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
- * are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
- * may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
- * may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions
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Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I'm leaving behind my friends.
And I mean, I'm leaving behind my very good friends. My ladies. The women on whom I've come to rely for so much over the last two years of my life... My support group and in large part, my strength as a woman, mother, and wife. And this post is for them. For Amber, Bobbi, Kelly, Jenny... Even for those I don't "hang out with" on a regular basis like Misty and Sunshine and Fara. It's even for the women whose names I don't know but with whom I chatted for hours at the playground or took walks with or called with phone tree messages. We all have this crazy common bond - be it motherhood or our lives as Navy wives or just as women - and I never in my life knew how valuable that is until I came here, to King's Bay.
I had friends before. I even had a best friend in high school that I called "Sis". But I never really understood how powerful a tool a friendship can be. I've never found my life to be so enriched by my relationships with other women. But those people I mentioned earlier have changed all of that. I love them and I am so incredibly sad to be moving away. I know I won't be far and there are phones and the magic of the Internet, but I will forever miss the opportunity to spend a warm November afternoon at a playground with my friends and our kids, listening to their happy banter and chatting about all the things that make us who we are - laughing because we've all been "there" and we all understand one another and being comfortable with ourselves because we have so many unspoken things in common. And even as we silently acknowledge those similarities, each of us appreciates everyone else's individuality and those different elements are what weave together to make a group stronger. It's truly remarkable.
I don't know what I would have done without Amber. She has been an inspiration and a comic relief. I love her like a sister and I love her son like a nephew. Even her husband isn't bad. She's truly amazing and one of the strongest people I know. You might love borders, Choke Me, but I love you.
Bobbi, you've been my friend through thick and thin and even when we didn't have others to turn to, we had us - chicken spaghetti and Law and Order and taboo talk of pornos. Your company has been a life saver through some of the loneliest times in my life. I am so happy to see how far you've come and to see your little girl grow up into such a joy. I'm so proud of you and your family.
I haven't known you as long, Kelly, and I am truly sorry about that. I'm so glad we've become friends and shared as many laughs as we have. Your outlook on life is so refreshing and so much fun and yet so wise. You're an incredible person, and I only hope that one day I can be half the mom you are. I have lots to learn from you.
I don't even know where to begin to explain how awesome Jenny is. She went to welding school. She is an absolute rock star. She's been through so many patrols and hasn't blown up a boat that I think she's something of a loon. I can count on her for anything - a smile, a favor, a conversation... She's such a beautiful person and so giving and so honest. I have a lot to live up to if I want to be the kind of woman Jenny is. She's always been there for me and I just hope I can return that favor someday.
I could go on and on and on about the awesomeness of my friends. I really could. I could get even sappier and seem even more like a lezzie stalker. But I'll leave it here and say that I am so so so fortunate that I've had the chance to make these relationships and I pray every day that I can keep them.
And, oh, one final point: I have to say, thank you, Katie McGrath, for being such a gigantic bitch that I realized being friends with you was a waste so I could devote that much more time to the real people in my life. Had you not been the horrible person you were, I might have missed out on some of the best memories I've ever had the privilege to be a part of.
Here's to the ladies that make my life good...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
And when did I get halfway through my 20's?
On a super cool note, I can totally feel my twins moving. How crazy is that? I'm about 11 weeks now, and those little guys are absolutely making their presence known in the most badass of ways. Hi, little guys, I love you too!
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Saturday, November 8, 2008
So, off we go to look at vans.
Oh my Lord, how did I get here?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Well, I guess I've been waiting for the right time to put this out there, but now's as good a time as any... Justin, Jack and I are getting ready to welcome more love into our family. A little bit of a surprise, but hey, that's God's way sometimes, right? We've been sitting on the news for the most part because I've felt really, truly horrendously bad with this pregnancy - much more so than with Jack and I wanted to either make it out of the first trimester without getting too excited or at least make it to our first pre-natal checkup, which we've done as of today. Hence, the news.
Jack is going to have twin siblings.
No, it doesn't run in either of our families. No, they're likely not identical. No, no fertility treatments. 1 in 80ish chance.
We were shocked. We were joking with the tech who did the ultrasound before we started about how we wanted her to make sure she didn't find more than one in there... well, Dr. Mixson made sure Justin and I were looking at the screen at the same time when he turned it around. I looked at it and said, "aaaw, how cute, there's the little heart bea... or is that it? Wait, what's that other thi... No. No way. You have to be joking." The doctor just laughed (he's really excited about this) and said, "No, no joke. Those are both your babies and they look wonderful." I was floored. Justin laughed. (He's allowed to be way more excited than me considering my body is about to be DESTROYED...)
Yes, I do intend to nurse them both. Yes, I do plan to deliver them both vaginally and naturally. The only obstacle to delivery will be if the first kiddo is breech, in which case I'm stuck with a C-section. If he (and we're calling them "he" until further notice) isn't breech, I can deliver him and then we can either flip his brother or I can squeeze him out breech. I'm not in the least worried about labor and delivery. I'm actually looking forward to getting on with this whole adventure and putting the waiting and the wondering behind us.
Well, that's about all the updating I've got energy for right now - I've got lots of fun stuff to talk about here about Jack, but he deserves his own post and I deserve a nap after the morning I've had.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Now, if that's not top-notch parenting, I don't know what is. Maybe I should go lock him in a car or something... oh, wait.
Apparently he's not transitioning well to the whole daylight savings time thing. So that warrants me chucking a glass of water in his face? Stellar, Melis.
The best part is, I made him clean up the mess.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
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Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Practical, traditional and organized. Likely to be athletic. Not interested in theory or abstraction unless they see the practical application. Have clear visions of the way things should be. Loyal and hard-working. Like to be in charge. Exceptionally capable in organizing and running activities. 'Good citizens' who value security and peaceful living.
Careers that could fit you includes:
Military, business administrators, managers, police/detective work, judges, financial officers, teachers, sales representatives, government workers, insurance agents, underwriters, nursing administrators, trade and technical teachers.
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Monday, October 6, 2008
First, here are the rules of the game:
1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Mention the rules.
3. Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself.
4. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.
5. Go to each person's blog and leave them a comment so they know they've been tagged.
My 6 quirky, boring details....
1. I am an obsessive snuggler.
2. I despise balloons.
3. One of my favorite lunch foods is a sandwich made with deli turkey and stacked with pickles.
4. I get WAY too involved in Jim and Pam's relationship (Jim and Pam being characters in NBC's show, "The Office") for a rational adult.
5. My least favorite chore is hanging up clothes. Followed very closely by emptying the dishwasher.
6. I over-pronounce the "t's" in words like Mountain, Mitten, button, etc.
Okay Morgan Smith, and Bobbi Van Reet, ladies, you've been tagged. I gots no one else that hasn't been hit already!
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Thursday, October 2, 2008
*I hate the economy right now. That probably goes without saying, but I am not in love with trying to sell a house in a credit-challenged society. Not such a great situation.
*Johnny and the Sprites - moms, you know what I'm talking about - the Playhouse Disney show that probably only comes on early on Saturdays but they advertise the crap out of... Johnny is so blatantly gay. I love gay people (seriously, but not like that) but Johnny is almost a walking, talking, homosexual parody of homosexuality. Come on, it's too much. Kids are getting meaner, don't give them someone so out there for my toddler to point and laugh at. Dude doesn't need to be all lispy and overly made-up to appeal to kids... look at the Imagination Movers - those guys are HOT! I don't care if they ARE gay, they're funny and sexy (okay I might be weird) and genuine. In no way do they come off as "I am only doing this so I can get fan mail from little boys" like Johnny. I mean, come on, Disney, don't set yourselves up for an in-house episode of Law and Order: SVU. And have you SEEN the "Mother Earth" character? I don't know what they were going for, but I'm pretty sure what they got was half-baked trailer trash hippie. And this is from someone who hasn't even seen an episode - just the clips that (unfortunately) come on during Jack's Little Einsteins/Clubhouse/Handy Manny run.
*I just burned my mouth on crazy hot coffee.
*My fish tank is horrible. I clean the stupid thing to within an inch of its life, have only 3 fish in 10 gallons (including an algae-eater!) and have a rockstar filter with a cartridge I change every 2 weeks instead of every 4, I condition the water with the right stuff in the right amounts and within 3 days of adding fresh water, the tank looks like a big rectangle of green jello. (Yeah run-on sentence...)
---> update: I just paused in writing this post to put the tank and its constituent parts in an ad on Freecycle so hopefully someone in the area that actually wants some useless pets will benefit from my utter and complete resignation. So I feel better knowing that soon it will be someone else's problem. I wish them the best of luck. (Suckers!)
*Someone's muffler is laying in the road outside my house. Why don't all states have emissions requirements?
*I have to put laundry away. I hate hanging clothes up. HATE it. My least favorite household chore. I'll scrub 100 toilets before I voluntarily put clothes on hangers in the closet.
Okay I'm done. I needed to vent. Sorry you had to put up with that. It's 9:20 and Jack is still passed out because he's got a cold. Poor kiddo. But it gave me some time to bleed out some frustrations and to put my tank on Freecycle. Sweet.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Anyway, after 45 minutes of him making as much noise as possible and me ignoring him, he's sleeping and I get a chance to update this.
We've been traveling all over the place - most recently to Tennessee - and staying incredibly busy around the house and visiting friends. I've been behind on projects and chores from all the traveling and the temptations offered by cooler weather and the ability to spend time outside again.
I'm ready to start updating the blog again (finally!) but I'm going to be lazy today and just copy a few stories from our baby website, so if you've read that recently, I'm sorry, but here you go. My next one will be better (I know, promises, promises!)
I call this collection, "Tales from Toddlerhood"...
Actually, there are quite a few things about Jack that strike me as pretty far from "normal"... I won't list them all, but one personality trait that cracks me up is his insistence on drinking a cup of coffee at breakfast with me. (He and I have so many goofy routines it's ridiculous...) No, he doesn't get regular coffee - I bought him some decaff coffee singles so I can brew one mug at a time of decaff for him - but he has his own mug and it must be prepared exactly the same way as mine and must be cooled with exactly one ice cube. No warmer and no cooler will do. We must eat a waffle together. In fact, meals must be served to all persons present at the same time or Jack gets very upset. And you cannot have something on your plate that he doesn't have on his. Even if he won't eat it, like Caesar salad, a piece of it must be on his plate before he can continue eating. This is very serious stuff, here.
Justin brought home a popcorn air popper a while ago since we discovered Jack's love of popcorn. Jack knows where it lives and if he sees it, he sets it up and points at it an hollers, "poh caaahn" over and over until someone makes him some damn popcorn. And he must be picked up for the procedure. "Up" gets repeated in the kitchen about 100 times a day, as Jack is fascinated by all the activity that takes place on the counter-top out of his eyesight. "Up up up!" he calls as he tries to climb up your legs (you know, to make sure you're aware that he's serious about his request). He's also become a huge fan of informing me of when things are finished by announcing, "DONE!" Anyone finishes a drink, cleans off a plate, throws something away, turns something off, and Jack is there to proclaim the task officially "done". We park the car, "done." We leave a building, "done." A dog on the side of the road finishes peeing, "done." In the morning, Jack wakes up and finds his aforementioned bottle in his crib, empty and he ceremoniously announces, "done!" and I know he's ready to get up. However, there is a crucial distinction: when Jack is, himself, finished with something, he says, "ALL done." So whereas we grammatically-aware adults realize that "cakes are done, people are finished," Jack realizes that bottles are done and he is all done.
Among Jack's many talents is his new-found ability to speak in rudimentary sentences to ask questions, including, "where goin'?" "where'd go?" "what'e doin'?" As well as those to indicate a desire such as, "Ah wan' go." In fact, as we were driving through the stunning landscape of Tennessee, Jack would repeatedly point out the car window and tell us that he wanted to go out there. "Ah wan' GO!" he'd shout from his car seat, gesturing wildly at the passing trees and lakes. Last night, though, his adorable question-asking made a couple cool leaps that I wouldn't have really anticipated being as neat as it is. First, we were looking at a book he has based on the movie Cars. It was a picture of almost all the characters, including Mater (the tow-truck), and Jack would point at one vehicle's eyes and ask what it was, so I would tell him, "Those are Sally's eyes," and so on while he occasionally pointed at his own eyes to tell me he knew what I was talking about. Then he started pointing out headlights on each vehicle. When he got to Mater, who only has one headlight because he's a piece of junk, Jack pointed at the empty space in the picture where a second light would have been and looked at me and asked, "Where'd go?" putting his hands palm-up and shrugging his shoulders. I was floored. I had no idea he was looking so closely at the picture to notice that Mater was missing a headlight. Then, as we were reading our second book, Jack noticed that his flashlight (his "on"... he calls lights "on"'s [probably my fault]) was on the floor in front of us, still turned on. He started fidgeting so I reached down, turned it off and stuffed it under a pillow (out of sight, out of mind, being my thought) so we could continue reading. Apparently Jack had fully expected me to hand him his "on" because he looked at me like, "uuuh, wtf?" and asked, "where ON go? where ON?" He was no longer just asking, "where go?" but now he's specifying what he was looking for with a noun. Cool, right? Pretty advanced stuff, but then you realize he's talking to you about the same "on" that caused a circle of light on the carpet of a darkened hallway that he chased around for a full 30 minutes just before we started reading as if it were a living entity. Way to go, Jack.
Also, Jack's got a thing for bugs. "Buhb" he calls it. We're forever chasing them around outside and he says, "blech!" if they get too close or if he wants to be goofy like me. On a fairly regular basis, he gets down on his hands and knees and blows ants he finds on the driveway, causing them to fly away and him to cackle mischievously. He'll also chase hopping crickets and grasshoppers and follow flies and butterflies around whenever possible. Recently he was given a set of 2-inch long plastic bugs so he sat in the back of the car with them clutched in his mitts saying, "buhb buhb buhb buhb!" and giggling, then saying, "blech! buhb!" and showing them to me. They're gross, and he knows I think so, because he's taken to chasing me around the house with them, and throwing them on my lap whenever possible. "Buhb!" he hollers, "Blech!" then points and laughs at me. Charming, truly.
Honestly, I could go on for hours about him. I could write pages upon pages of amusing anecdotes about the adorable things Jack does. I could talk about how cute it is to take him to McD's for dessert after dinner when Justin has duty and lose sight of him while I'm placing our order, just to find him sitting in a booth, patting the table, waiting for me to bring him something delicious to eat, or how funny he is with his love of kicking balls and riding his new trike... but I have to go get some housework accomplished while he sleeps.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Basically, I have been running at 100 miles an hour for the last month. I haven't had a minute of down time and the few second intervals of rest I do get here and there have been entirely devoted to recuperation.
What's so frustrating about everything is that I love being here - I love my home and I want to spend time here, but every minute we're here, the more work I have to do to get it ready for another showing. Jack doesn't understand the principles of cleanliness yet and he's not yet helpful enough to rely on him to keep his toys contained or food off the floor, walls, windows, etc. I love my hub dearly, but there is no way I can count on him for bathroom cleaning duty or oven cleaning, etc. So the onus falls on me to make sure I don't let toothpaste collect on faucets or goop dry on the cook top... whereas before I could say, "Eh, if that laundry sits folded outside the closet door for another day, who cares? I can spend time with Jack NOW and figure out the chores later," now I'm left short-changing my loved ones so that I can hang up a dozen shirts or dust the entertainment center for the billionth time.
Oh well... Such is life, right? If you want to look up the house, it's easiest to look up the MLS # of 2485972. And feel free to put an offer on it... the faster I get out, the faster my life can return to normal!
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Friday, June 27, 2008
Have a fun and safe 4th of July weekend!
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Sunday, June 15, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
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Thursday, June 12, 2008
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I love wedding kisses!
So we've been married for 3 beautiful years. Yay! It seems like we've know one another for our whole lives... I just can't wait to see what the rest of ever brings to us. We've been blessed with so much already...
Thank you to our friends and families for all of your support and for making our lives richer and more beautiful... you're just as much a part of our lives as ever, and we can't imagine a future without you all, so thank you for always being there.
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
So far the cucumbers are looking okay. I'm pulling a few off those plants every day, so I think they're still healthy. I think the heat killed my snap peas, but I'll live. The carrots and green onions are doing great and I've almost harvested all the lettuce which has been delicious. We've got herbs going in to replace the lettuce, so at least that part of the garden is having good turnover.
The tomatoes. Damn tomatoes. The plants are doing great and the cherry tomatoes are growing like crazy, but I'm having an issue with little green caterpillar/worm things that are ruining the foliage and boring into the tomatoes themselves. I tried organic solutions, but nothing was working, so I did some research and found that Sevin pesticides don't penetrate the plant membrane and as long as you follow the directions on recommended time between applications and recommended time between application and harvest (in this case, 3 days) it has no effect on the plant or the fruit. So that's a relief. I applied a TON of the stuff yesterday so we'll see if I can win one for the people. It's infuriating to deal with.
Our crepe myrtle tree out front has a chronic infestation of aphids that really is impossible to control. Even if I spray the tree with bug killer, I have to get absolutely every single last stupid bug because they reproduce so quickly that if I leave even one tiny aphid behind, it'll spread to the rest of the tree within 48 hours. I wouldn't give a crap but they excrete this waste called "honeydew" that looks like soot and coats the leaves and bark with greasy black nasty. I hate looking out my front window at it and washing it off is a pain in the ass. So the aphids have won that battle - all I do is hope for rain (hah!) to wash the honeydew off the leaves and try to ignore them.
But the tomatoes? Seriously? I just want my tomatoes to be okay. Eat my squash, fine, but leave my tomatoes alone.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Welcome Home, Daddy!
Some quick updates:
*The bunny-love didn't work out. The woman in charge of the Gainesville Rabbit Rescue program did an absolutely horrible job coordinating and didn't supply me with the address of the date until an hour after we were supposed to have left the house. I had things to do that evening, so missing our window was a pretty big deal. I was furious and don't get me started on how upset I am over the whole situation. But needless to say, Enzo remains an eligible bachelor.
*We took Justin and Mr./Uncle Matt to the Aquatic Center - everyone loved it!
*Justin had grown a mustache underway. It was pretty disgusting. I don't think it lasted more than 24 hours off the boat.
*We all went to the zoo in Jacksonville. It was so awesome that we got season passes. I am stoked since I, personally, love zoos. Well, I love animals, and since a safari isn't in our budget, I have to be content with the zoo.
*We're still totally unsure of what's going on with our move to Virginia. Anyone want to buy a 4 bedroom/2 bath adorable house in Kingsland, Georgia?
Jack had his 15 month checkup and we found out he's in the 50th percentile for weight (24.4 lbs) and 91st percentile for height (33.5 inches!) which is awesome - he's built just like Daddy!
*Damn Robertson took his car back. Not thrilled about that one. I even offered to let him have the Honda instead. Jerk.
*We've finally made it through the DVR - hours upon hours of TV shows I recorded to catch up on when the guys got back. We're caught up on our shows like House, Greek, Top Gear, The Office, 30 Rock, and of course, Greys. It took some hard-core couch time, but we've done it.
*The welcome home Tennessee/happy birthday Matt party was a total success and so much fun! I am not going to confirm or deny the fact that there may have been a number of beers funneled that day.
Alright, that's all I've got for you - here are a couple of pictures... if you want more, check the baby website over the next few days as I slowly upload the 1000's of pictures we've got of the last couple weeks.
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Friday, May 16, 2008
Enzo is our rabbit. We've had him since August 2005 and until Jack, he and his life partner, Esmeralda, were basically our children. Es passed away almost 2 years ago and Enzo was literally heartbroken. They were very much in love.
Tomorrow, Enzo, Jack and I are going to pile into the car and head to Palatka, FL for a bunny speed-dating session.
That's right - speed-dating.
Gainseville Rabbit Rescue has arranged for 3 foster families to bring eligeable bachelorettes to meet us. Depending on with whom Enzo has the most chemistry, we will bring one lucky lady back home with us. 'Zo will get to spend some time with each girlie and we'll know probably within the first minute or so if it's a good match or not.
I remember how tenderly Esmeralda treated Enzo... I knew their relationship, and I know exactly what he needs. I want my tan little boy to have the love and affection he so badly deserves. Though I love on him and so does Justin and even Jack, there's just something missing.
So wish Jack, Enzo and me luck as we go out in search of long-eared love...
Es, we'll always miss you and never replace you... Enzo's first love....
Monday, May 12, 2008
Let me preface this whole story with one fact that you must always, ALWAYS keep in mind while reading it: I am a BRICK. Educated, yes, intelligent, fairly, but underneath it all, a big, giant, unthinking BRICK.
I had to drop something off on base at the off-crew office today at a certain time. I showed up with Jack two hours before the deadline and was very proud of myself for being on time. As I was depositing my stuff, someone came up to me and told me that I had missed the window of opportunity and that I would have to collect my things and take them with me. I was so upset! I nearly cried right there because I was also dropping things off for Amber and I promised her I'd have it there on time. I asked what he was talking about because no one had told me the time had changed and he replied, "Yeah, well, it was 30 minutes ago... sorry... they tried to get the word out so I guess you missed the message." Well, I know very well that I would have known about any time changes since I'm one of the people that PUTS the word out about such things. So, dejectedly, I left with my stuff, hoping that things might work out next time and feeling like a huge turd because I was letting people down.
So I got back to the car and started strapping Jack into his car seat. I had my bag slung over my shoulder and my car keys in one hand and he was struggling to pull them out of my hand and pushing random buttons and beeps were going crazy and it was annoying so I chucked the keys in the driver's seat and put my bag on the ground to use both hands to wrestle him into his seat. Finally situated, I gave him some smarties and some nuggets and shut the door. I picked up my bag to toss it on the passenger's seat and head to the playgr.... FUCK the door was locked. LOCKED. All of the doors were locked. The keys were on the driver's seat. I was looking at them. Jack was in his car seat. I was looking at him.
I lost it. I wailed, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" and just put my forehead on the window and started saying, "no no no no no" and sobbing.
This was not my car. This was Matt's car. I was driving Matt's fucking car and my child was sitting inside and my keys were in there with him. And there were lots and lots of dudes looking at me like I belonged in an institution (I do.) or something.
Someone came up to me and asked what was going on and I explained the situation and he said he'd call dispatch and base security would come help me out.
I was very grateful.
But then it turns out that base security entailed several trucks, fire truck, ambulance and patrol cars. With lights and sirens.
As if my humiliation wasn't at it's pinnacle, now I'm a spectacle in addition to a shit-show.
I do, at this point, need to reassure everyone that it was only 68 degrees outside instead of the 95 degrees it has been for the last week. So at least God thought I deserved SOME kind of break. I would have broken a window within 30 seconds if it were any hotter outside.
Jack was just chilling in there the whole time, smiling at the 50 or so people that stopped to say any number of things along the lines of, "wow, that sucks!" or "gosh what a nice car - I hope they don't have to break a door off!" or "wow, this is going to take awhile" or "what will her husband say?" etc.
Meanwhile, someone has just informed me that the deadline I thought I had missed hadn't been missed after all and they were wrong and I can go ahead and drop my stuff off. So apparently Fate had a shitty way of keeping me there so I could get everything turned in before I got home and had to turn around. Oh, because I forgot to add that I have no cell phone because it is on the coffee table so I couldn't call anyone to ask what the hell was going on until I got back here.
Anyway, back to the car that has my keys and my baby inside...
So after a bunch of guys assess the situation as being beyond hope, one of the security guys shows up and has a slim-jim to pop the locks (which are electronic so the old methods don't work) and I had to explain to him how important it was that they try really really hard to get this fixed without hurting the car at all because it's um, well, not my f-ing car. (And boy, oh boy, the looks I got when I explained that I was tooling around in my husband's best friend's car while they're out to sea...) I got chewed out for giving more of a shit about the car than my kid, which stung, but I know where my priorities were and I knew I'd buy Matt a new car before I let Jack sit in there for more than another 20 minutes, but I had to at least try to make sure they were as careful as possible.
They did, after a couple minutes, get it open and I doled out some massive hugs to the guys and scooped Jack out of his carseat and just held him for like 10 minutes while people thinned out and shook their heads at my idiocy. He was totally fine. He actually ate more food than he has in a week while he was sitting there, so I was pretty happy about that. The car is fine. I, however, not so much. I am a brick. No question about it. I'm embarassed, I'm ashamed, I was scared, and now I'm writing about it because I'm a glutton for punishment.
Thank God it wasn't too hot out. Thank God Jack is too young to remember my negligent parenting. Thank God that He watches out for drunks and fools because I am the latter and would LOVE to be the former to forget about all of this nonsense.
At least I met the deadline. So really, the only person I let down today was me.
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
And Happy Mothers' Day to my Mommy - my best friend and inspiration. I love you, Mu. Thank you for teaching me how to be the Mom I am for Jack.
And to all of my beautiful, strong, passionate, loving friends who also happen to be Mommies. Without you - each and every one of you - I wouldn't be able to navigate my way through the more difficult obstacles that this particular profession creates. You all give me strength and hope and wisdom.
Happy Mothers' Day to everyone. It's a special day. Moms are pretty darn important and it's a sweet club to be in.
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Thursday, May 1, 2008
Why? Because Grey's made me cry.
I'm PMSing for the second time in 2 years and I forgot what it's like.
I really miss my husband.
Now I need to wait for them to dry so I feel like an idiot because all I want to do is snuggle up with a teddy bear in bed.
Wow, and I've reverted 10 years.
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Thursday, April 24, 2008
I have a confession to make. After years of being faithful to you, I've found someone new. I am infatuated with Matt's Subaru Impreza STi. In fact, though it may be too soon to tell, I think I'm in love. I can't be with the STi forever - it would never work (since I'm only borrowing it) - so I plan on staying with you for the family. But from now on, every time I drive you, I won't be able to help thinking about the Subaru. I'm so sorry.
I don't know if it's the snazzy blue color that I can't seem to stay away from (like my brother's Audi S4) or the fact that it has a 6 gear manual transmission, Brembo brakes, firm suspension, and more than 300 hp, but something about it just makes me shiver.
I know that I'm right now addicted to the excitement of the speed and acceleration and that one day I would miss your warm, safe embrace of familiarity, but I will never feel the same way about you again. Honda, you have always been there for me, no matter what. You have been a welcome dose of normalcy through turbulent years of change. Prius, you are at once quirky and sensible, and your oddness is endearing. I will always hold a special place in my heart for everything you stand for and all you represent.
But neither of you are fast enough for me. Neither of you has suede racing seats. Neither of you have a throaty exhaust that tickles my ears as I accelerate away from stop lights. I can't count on you for the thrills I desperately need in my increasingly routine life.
I love you both and always will, though you're more like cherished friends after so many years. I finally have they keys to a car that makes me feel sexy. I want to get dressed up to drive the STi. It's just hotter than you... and I'm so sorry.
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Thursday, April 17, 2008
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008
That's right, I'm in Colorado... they have "winter" here, even in the spring. Probably should have brought a pair of shoes other than flip-flops.
It's supposed to stop shitting around and actually snow tomorrow - I'm so excited for Jack to play in it!
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Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Why not skip "Mama" and "Dada" and the ol' standards of baby talking? Why not move right into swearing? And why not start with the Granddaddy of swear words? Atta boy!
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Thursday, March 27, 2008
I about broke down a few times just watching him race around... the feelings I had were totally indescribable... I wanted so much for you to see him and I wanted to squeeze him so hard and I was so proud of him for coming so far and absolutely astounded that just a year ago he was a tiny, tiny infant who could barely hold his head up for 3 seconds. Incredible. I really, for the first time, understand how it can seem like you blink and they're grown... for the last year, since it's been so grueling and we've trudged through a lot of difficulty, he and I, with the sleeping and eating and kidney issues, it's seemed like the days dragged on and that he was going to be an infant forever and it seemed like time was just sluggish, as if we were proceeding through syrup. But today I realized that he's not an infant. Far from it. He's Jack. A little kid. A little PERSON. Holy shit, where did that come from?! The past year was all a blink, just like people said it would be, because today, when I saw him running around and didn't even know how we got there. And what's worse is knowing that feeling of time slipping away now too fast is not going to go away, ever, and that we'll constantly be fighting to stay right where we are, to dig our heels in and not move on and relish the moment before it, too, fades away.
I guess it isn't about the class itself, necessarily, it was the setting, and more than that, it was Jack... it was Jack showing me that he's so much more than a tiny little empty slate baby. I love him so much it's overpowering. Wow, motherhood. That saggy butt doesn't seem so important right now.
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I think he'll warm up to it soon enough, but it was the first time I'd ever left him with total strangers, and outside of my house, at that. If it were a stranger at my house or someone familiar at the gym, it wouldn't have been so traumatic. But we'll keep trying!
The good news is: I didn't see that awesome person I'd been hoping to avoid!
Today we tried tumbling, which is a Mommy & Me-type class that is mostly playing around on gymnastics mats. Well, I called yesterday to confirm the time and they told me to be there at 9:30.
We rolled in there and realized we were there with a bunch of little (but older) girls in leotards.
"Hmmmmmm....." said My Brain, "This looks weird... and where's Misty and Jack? I thought they were coming...." Well, My Brain doesn't usually work very well, so I overruled it and we started doing the class which Jack LOVED at first - running in circles and stretching and bouncing and music and just loads of good times that had him screaming and squealing and laughing his head off. Then they moved into such things as: Forward Hand Springs and Swinging On The Loops and Walking Along the Parallel Bars. "Erm," My Brain said again, "This can't be right. There's no way a kid under 2 could do this stuff." So one of the Moms suggested to me that I try the next 45-minute class for the younger kids... "You know," said the Mom, "with a ball pit and Ring Around the Rosey..." "Ah, ha! You dummy! I told you this was wrong!" My Brain cried triumphantly. So I just played it cool and said out loud, "You know, this might be a little advanced after all. I will try the next one." Later the instructor told me in as many words that I'm an idiot and shouldn't have brought Jack to something to intense and the next class would be far more appropriate. No kidding, buddy! It was YOUR staff that told me to show up for this one in the first place!
Next thing I know, Misty and Jeremy and Jack (their Jack; the original Jack) showed up, all smiles, ready to do their non-hardcore gymnastics fun. Meanwhile, my little Jack is literally RUNNING out the door with his shoes in his hand like, "Mommy, lets get the HELL out of this crazy place! I'm no gymnast and I'm exhausted from even trying the activities!" Needless to say, I was enthusiastic to follow him out the door and leave my embarrassment behind.
I remember in college on the first day of classes that horrible feeling when you realize you're sitting in a lecture hall in the first row of a class you aren't signed up for... You want to play it cool because you'd rather leave at the end of the lecture with everyone else and just not show up again the next day than stand up and have everyone watch you walk out like an ass. But then the professor starts asking questions in Russian and expects you to respond in kind, especially since you're sitting in the front row and you look twice as dumb because now everyone knows you were just trying to stay to look not-lame... That's how I felt today. AWESOME.
But, like the tot drop, we will go again, but next week it'll be from 10:30 to 11:15 and there will be no Back Tucks or Balance Beam Course for my poor 13 month old toddler to endure. I mean, I can't even change the kid's diaper without him screaming and they're saying "It's time to Log Roll down this wedge!" Oh man, My Brain is lots smarter sometimes than I give her credit for, and I should listen more often.
Meanwhile, off to go do some sit-ups since we're not going to brave the gym again this afternoon.
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
But how pathetic is it that I'm considering not doing it because my LEAST favorite person alive *may* go there? Ugh, I can't believe how lame that is, and yet, I can't even stand the sight of her so I'm wondering if I should pay a membership fee just so I can go and see her daily...
On the positive side, I lose my appetite whenever I run into her, so combine that with exercise and I just might be a hot-mamma twice as fast...
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Monday, March 24, 2008
So I had my two neighbors pick the lock on my garage door.
I owe them a pie each. And I'm an idiot.
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Sunday, March 23, 2008
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Though, I do own the Easter bunny. I guess being unenthusiastic about Easter is akin to one of Santa's elves being buddy-buddy with the Grinch...
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Friday, March 21, 2008
I have a big yard.
And I had a LOT of prickey-pods. What are those anyway? Some kind of seed from those big, useless trees on my neighbor's lot I suppose? And I'm fairly certain that if I took the time to record each find, I'd be able to successfully claim the discovery of at least 3 new species of weed. Seriously, there were THAT many weeds... but they're often clever and disguise themselves as grass and only pop out after you've combed over a patch of sod 3 different times.
But I did it. 7 wheelbarrow loads later, I'm pretty sure my life will be shorter by a year thanks to the random assortment of bug bites I sustained from what I'm sure are also as-yet un-documented kinds of weird tropical bugs. The Amazon has got absolutely nothing on Southeast Georgia when you're talking about a lot that was, as little as 18 months ago, swampy forest.
That being said, I did survive and managed to put 4 tomato plants in the ground, two pepper plants, a mint plant and create a nice little flower bed that I will probably never enjoy due to afore-mentioned bugs. Probably the greatest achievement of the day, though, has to be my tan. I guess all is not lost after all.
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Monday, March 17, 2008
I just made a DVD of Justin and our friend Matt reading books to Jack. Of course I set it to sappy Billy Joel music. Of course it will make me cry and Jack will just laugh at Daddy not looking at the camera lens, but looking at the LCD screen instead so it looks like Daddy is reading to Jack's left temple.
Live and learn.
Besides, betcha I watch it by myself time and again when I'm feeling super emotional and missing-him-y. You know, since I'm not nursing Jack anymore, I'll probably get my monthly buddy back, finally. Wow, my first patrol with PMS. This proves to go well.
I think I'll go eat some brownies. I mean, I can work out tomorrow when I would be making DVDs, right? Yeah. Good idea.
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Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I know most of you are avid readers of the baby page, or at least avid lookers-at-pictures-but-not-leavers-of-comments, but this blog will probably have a little more of the adult (*gasp* but not "adult" as in, wouldn't want to let a priest read it) and a little less of the "oh look how cute my baby is." But, let's be serious, my baby is damn cute, and I'll probably talk about him at least 50% of the time because my life consists of little else.
Distilled down, I just said this page is going to be really boring. That being the case, read at your own risk. Enjoy if you can. And welcome.
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