Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Unfriending
We can talk about how Facebook has changed forever the meaning of the word "friend" and ask the question: "Really? Who has 963 'friends'?" and point out that Facebook "friending" is not the same as making new friends in real life.
We can even debate whether or not "in real life" even exists when people are so plugged into social media by their phones, their wireless internet, their watches (well, maybe not, but soon, I'm sure)... When people hand out cards that list name, phone number, website, Facebook page, Twitter handle, etc., can we even make a distinction between how we make friends face-to-face and online?
People, let me just say, there is one gigantic, glaring difference between our beloved social media and the real world: In real life, we cannot simply click a radio button and disappear from someone's news feed. We can't unfriend a person and hope that they just assume we're not posting updates - that we've gotten lost in the melange of statuses that flood their electronic wall each day...
Oh no. No, there's no simple "unfriend" action in real life... no matter how much we wish there was. There's no way to simply disappear from one's life and hide behind the anonymous mesh of 1's and 0's the internet affords. Privacy settings don't apply to our large-windowed mini-vans and we can't grant exclusive access to our whereabouts to "friends only" in reality.
I realize how horrible this makes me sound. I do. I'm always looking for new friendships and excited about connecting with people - both for myself (and my sanity) and my kiddos... But if I've ever wanted a do-over in my social life, I'd want it now. And please understand that I'm talking about now - I wouldn't take back any of my shitbag ex-boyfriends or ill-advised high-school hookups or my crashing, burning, drama-laden Zeppelin-style friendships from my past. I'd take it now with one person who is a very kind, very sweet individual who doesn't understand boundaries, appropriate discussion topics, human anatomy, acceptable questions or time-limits. This person does not take cues such as "(toddler wailing in car seat) Honey, I know you're starving, we're on our way home and I'll feed you as soon as we get there, I promise." or "(phone rings) I have to take this; it's our attorney... (answer phone and have person continue waiting)".
Again, I'm talking about a fabulous person, I'm sure. I'm just finding myself utterly and completely unable to find a commonality between us, I'm uncomfortable (beyond all comprehension) with the subjects chosen to discuss (despite desperate attempts to steer the conversation elsewhere) and beyond frustrated with the lack of regard for me, my schedule, or my kids.
Sigh. I need an unfriend button in real life. Or maybe just a rewind button. Or at the very least, a mute button.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Black and White Wednesday
Now, if I could just figure out why there's a weird line on the side of the picture...? Oh well. As you can tell, some technical difficulties have resulted in some rather drastic changes to my blog. Yikes... under construction, folks, under construction.
There's more fun stuff at The Long Road to China!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Goodbye, Navy, and Fare Thee Well...
But we did not do it alone.
And even though we are taking off our rank and hanging up the ribbons, we will walk away with so much more - the friendships we've gained along the way and the lessons we've learned have enriched our lives to such an extent that, though we are no longer a part of the Navy, the Navy will always be a part of us. It has enriched our marriage, our relationships, and ourselves as individuals. We appreciate one another more than I would have ever thought possible because we know how awful it is to be alone. Our friendships are forged with the understanding of how difficult the life can be, and those bonds we share with our Navy friends are deep and profound thanks to our shared journeys.
So, as we move forward, it is bitter-sweet. We are sad to leave the family we've been with for nine years, but excited for our new lives. We are thankful, too, because our Naval service has built foundations that have enabled us to take this next step. As our families prepared us for college and college prepared us for careers, so has the Navy prepared us to live the rest of our lives.
We are part of a proud heritage. My own grandfather, my Papa, is a veteran of many wars. Wounded, weathered, and holder of many secrets, I am proud that we were able to fight in the same military in which he fought. I am proud that we gave back for him.
Yes, I am proud.
And I am thrilled that, though our career with the Navy is coming to an end while our children are so young - so young, in fact, that the girls will never know the stinging loneliness of a deployment - it will shape who they are because it has shaped who we are as people and as parents.
These are some of the many many memories and images I have from the last 9 years:
Thank you, Navy. We will remember you fondly, always. And thank you to all those who continue to serve and to sacrifice - we hold you tightly in our hearts and prayers.
Monday, February 22, 2010
A Bit of Sunshine and Some Bloggy Awards
She passed a couple of awards on to me...
The Sunshine Award

These are the blogs that make my cup of coffee a little sweeter every day... They give me something to laugh about and something to think about, and they've got an awful lot to share.
NOW, I'll to a list of 14 random tidbits of stuff you might find interesting - one for each of the blogs I nominated...
1) I love greasy, fried, salty bar food.
2) I hail from Colorado but have never once gone skiing or snowboarding.
3) I love to write poems. I've even published a couple. But I'm even more bashful about those than I am about photos of myself.
4) I despise all things oral hygiene. (I mean, I do it, but I don't like it.)
5) I hoard glass jars. I don't know why, but I'm sure that I will find something to do with them. It's the only thing I obsessively collect... and it annoys even me.
6) I will never understand how my husband puts up with my snarky, sarcastic, never-ever-serious demeanor.
7) My new-found love for CSI: fillintheblank on Spike during the day is killing my productivity like having twins couldn't DREAM of.
8) I will never (Sorry, Kate!) shop in a Wal-Mart store again as long as I live.
9) My favorite author is Dean Koontz.
10) I am a social liberal and fiscal conservative. Wow, figure that one out...
11) The idea of raw eggs in anything really grosses me out so I prefer Caesar dressing from a jar or bottle.
12) If the school day gets extended by a single minute per the Government, I will home-school my children.
13) I have so my admiration for trendy, fashionable ladies like my sister, but I just can't seem to pull it off...
14) I haven't purchased new undies for myself in years. YEARS.
That's what I've got for ya! If you want to check out the other awards I've received, you can find them under the "Awards" page at the top... Now, get clickin'!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Post-Thanksgiving Thankfulness... Award Acceptance Post
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Make Room on the Mantle...

Friday, October 23, 2009
Honestly? Honestly.

So this award really means so much to me because it's my way of (in the most mature manner possible) sticking my tongue out at him and stamping my feet and saying, "Toldya!"
AND the cool part is, I can give thanks to some of the many other ladies in my new-found circle of bloggy friends out there who inspire me to, you know, let loose with it.
Here's how the award works:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link to their blog.
2. Share 10 honest things about yourself.
3. Present this award to 7 other whose blogs you find brilliant in design or content.
4. Tell those 7 people they have been awarded.
Now about this "Ten Honest Things" part... Yikes. I've been totally swamped this week and have been meaning to do a post that shares some things about who I am, so this works out just perfectly. Here we go:
1) I used to be kinda slutty. STOP LAUGHING. Seriously. I had a TON of boyfriends. I especially liked older guys (you know, in high-school, I was the one dating college guys) and I never stayed with anyone very long. Until I met my husband. Well, he wasn't my husband when I met him, obviously - how weird would that be? - but you know what I mean. I dumped 3... yes, THREE, guys on the off-chance that Justin would ask me to a dance. Absurd. I think I had really skewed perceptions in my teen years of my worth as a woman, but that's a whole can of worms I need a licensed psychologist to be present for the opening of...
2) ANYWAY... I am totally freaked out by cancer. I'm continually worried that my kids will get cancer and die and I can't squash my nightmares. It is truly, truly horrible. Consequently, I spend a TON of time being so SO grateful for our health and begging and pleading and wheeling and dealing with God to let me keep them. I am a total spaz about it and can send myself into a fit of choking sobs in about 30 seconds flat if I let my imagination run away from me.
3) I really, really, really want another baby. Not yet. Good grief, not yet. But my uterus is aching for another little one like crazy. You know how you sometimes wake up in the morning SUPER hungry after you've eaten a gigantic dinner because your stomach stretches out and you feel hungrier than you normally would later on? I wonder if having twins does the same thing to a uterus... Like, it stretched out so much from having two babies in there that it's now hungrier than it should be? I don't know. All I know is that dear hubby watches me take my Pill every night with a skeptical look on his face because I know he's not convinced it's a good idea. Yet. I'm still working on him.
4) I don't mind doing housework, mostly. I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that comes from sitting on my couch and seeing order and organization and shiny floors. But there are a few things I hate doing. Hanging up clothes, emptying the dishwasher and refilling the coffee canister. Those three things infuriate me and I will put them off until I cannot stand to not any longer.
5) I love to be creative. I love to paint and draw and take photos and do crafts and cook... I'm just not very good at any of them and don't have time to practice and it drives me nuts. I want to write books and poems and paint pictures and have a photo gallery and scrapbooks galore and I dream of interior decorating... but I never get the chance to do any of it. I don't really mind because eventually I will and I'll be glad to have the time but I get absurdly antsy sometimes wanting to do something creative.
6) Fast cars. Sexy, purring, masterfully engineered cars give me goosebumps and I get excited like Jack with Legos. I drive a minivan (which I love, believe it or not) but one of these days... Sometimes I give my van a little more gas a little sooner than I need to at a red light and leave some townie in his crappy Mustang staring agape at my tail lights and I smile and think, "Wow, I just burned you in my mini, you douche" before I grow up and realize that I just consumed a gallon of gas right there. So I go back to fantasizing about my Nissan Skyline GT-R and press "Play" on the van's DVD player and heat up my seat and be glad I can fit 3 car seats in the beast.
7) I like going to the bathroom. You know... going to the bathroom. As in... you know. I love it. (That's disgusting, I realize, but I'm being honest here.) Sometimes I think about interior decorating and fast cars WHILE I go to the bathroom and that makes it even better.
8) My mom used to let me taste raw hamburger meat that she'd mixed seasonings for meatloaf or hamburgers or meatballs into. In fact, I used to really like it. I used to actually ASK for it. Now, the very thought of it makes me barf a little in my mouth and you know what? I'm pretty sure the barf in my mouth tastes better than the raw meat would. Mom, I love you, but I'm not going to feed raw animal products to my kids. Things must have been safer in the 80's right?
9) I have stuff I want to be able to write about but don't have the guts.
10) I can't watch scary movies. What the heck is wrong with me? I used to be able to. I have no idea when I became a weenie but I can't do it. Humor, suspense, drama, action, whatever, but not horror. Blech. Getting me to watch a scary movie now is probably about like getting me to sit in a dentist chair, except I know I need to go to the dentist once a year and can't figure out a single way horror movies might enrich my life. So I just avoid them. I think my Mom just died a little inside if she read this because she raised me on Stephen King and eats up gory, spooky horror flicks like candy. (Sorry, Mom!)
Okay so that was a little about me. Pretty random, but totally honest. So 7 other ladies who have the cajones to be honest and real (in no particular order):
1. Tamara who cracks me up CONSTANTLY
2. Amber my IRL friend!
3. Candice who has a gorgeous family and thrilling adventures I can only DREAM of
4. Mama M. who inspires me to have hot mom hair one day
5. Misty who got me started blogging
6. Elizabeth who keeps it as real as any blog I've ever read, and...
7. Katie for her absolutely incredible strength!
There are tons more that I could have posted, but I really REALLY need to go start making my chicken parmesan for dinner!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Aw, People Like Me!
Lookie what I got!!!!

So the rules are: Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. You must use only one word answers! Once you have filled it out you then pass it on to 6 of your favorite bloggers and alert them that they have been awarded.
1. Where is your cell phone? Kitchen
2. Your hair? Frizzy
3. Your mother? Inspiring
4. Your father? Tall
5. Your favorite food? Everything
6. Your dream last night? Interrupted
7. Your favorite drink? Coffee
8. Your dream/goal? Togetherness
9. What room are you in? Playroom
10. Your hobby? Photography
11. Your fear? Cancer
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Together
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. Something that you aren't? Judgmental
15. Muffins? Delish
16. Wish list item? Photoshop
17. Where did you grow up? Colorado
18. Last thing you did? Dishes
19. What are you wearing? Crappy
20. Your TV? OFF!
21. Your pets? Deceased
22. Friends? Forever
23. Your life? Blessed
24. Your mood? Buoyant
25. Missing someone? Always
26. Vehicle? Routan
27. Something you’re not wearing? Socks
28. Your favorite store? Target
29. Your favorite color? Chocolate
30. When was the last time you laughed? Recently
31. Last time you cried? Earlier (but good tears!)
32. Your best friend? Husband
33. One place that I go to over and over? Commissary
34. One person who emails me regularly? Amber
35. Favorite place to eat? McDonald's
Now I'm passing the love to:
Amber
Misty
Kate
Michelle
Christine
Friday, April 24, 2009
Showers, Doctors, a Rabbit and a Padded Room
And it's a good think it happened when it did. I'm 33 weeks, and had a doctor's appointment yesterday, kicking off the super-duper fun span of once-a-week appointments from here on out. There are times when I feel like I HAVE to be close and other times when I'm positive they're going to have to schedule an induction for 38 weeks. Thus far I'm fine - mild contractions occasionally, puffy legs and ankles, ONE solitary stretch mark (damnit) on my hip, a wonky bikini line, and an outty belly button... the chunksters are still head-down and growing well. One more week and I'll have avoided bed rest ENTIRELY! Woot! After 34 weeks they don't try to stop labor if the girls want out.
Luckily I finished the chair. Just need to quickly get the ottoman done, get the shelves and curtains put up, and we're in business. Pictures of nursery to follow in the next week or so.
And finally, Enzo seems to be doing really well. I weaned his dumb ass off of his pain meds when I realized he was jumping up on top of the cardboard box I had put in his cage. Not only that, but he was digging at the top of the box and chewing chunks of cardboard off it. Come on, dude couldn't have been in THAT much pain. Besides, he was getting slightly addicted to the meds (to the point where he'd rip the syringe out of my hand when I put it near his mouth, hop away with it and fiendishly chew/lick/suck on it.) He seems to be eating just fine and has pretty good spirits. I'm going to let him run around on the 3rd floor this evening for awhile and see how he does and if it hurts, he might get another (small!) dose of his meds. The elbow feels like a giant lump and he holds his arm across his chest like a... well... you can picture it. It's funny. I make a "duuuuuuurrrrr" noise at him whenever I see him because, well, it seems appropriate.
Once his stupid self is fixed enough to rejoin the family downstairs (AFTER the girls get here) he'll be happy to note that I've replaced the coffee table of death with a cheapie ottoman-style mini coffee table from Bed Bath and Beyond. It looks a little goofy because it's about a third the size of the wrought-iron/slate one that claimed his elbow, but it's entirely safe for toddlers and rabbits alike and therefore has my anxiety level WAY down. Jack has taken up dancing as one of his favorite activities - and his brand of dancing includes lots of spinning, jumping and head-banging. I can't even describe how many times he has nearly taken a header into the table and I have a small heart attack every time it happens, so I finally put my foot down, made Justin hide our beautiful table in our bedroom, and splurged on the ottoman. People, we are a few VERY SMALL steps away from having a padded room. Keep that in mind. That's where I'm at with my life right now. Padded rooms.
Anyway, off to go start my day and enjoy "Melissa Time" before the tot gets up!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Just When...
I'm leaving behind my friends.
And I mean, I'm leaving behind my very good friends. My ladies. The women on whom I've come to rely for so much over the last two years of my life... My support group and in large part, my strength as a woman, mother, and wife. And this post is for them. For Amber, Bobbi, Kelly, Jenny... Even for those I don't "hang out with" on a regular basis like Misty and Sunshine and Fara. It's even for the women whose names I don't know but with whom I chatted for hours at the playground or took walks with or called with phone tree messages. We all have this crazy common bond - be it motherhood or our lives as Navy wives or just as women - and I never in my life knew how valuable that is until I came here, to King's Bay.
I had friends before. I even had a best friend in high school that I called "Sis". But I never really understood how powerful a tool a friendship can be. I've never found my life to be so enriched by my relationships with other women. But those people I mentioned earlier have changed all of that. I love them and I am so incredibly sad to be moving away. I know I won't be far and there are phones and the magic of the Internet, but I will forever miss the opportunity to spend a warm November afternoon at a playground with my friends and our kids, listening to their happy banter and chatting about all the things that make us who we are - laughing because we've all been "there" and we all understand one another and being comfortable with ourselves because we have so many unspoken things in common. And even as we silently acknowledge those similarities, each of us appreciates everyone else's individuality and those different elements are what weave together to make a group stronger. It's truly remarkable.
I don't know what I would have done without Amber. She has been an inspiration and a comic relief. I love her like a sister and I love her son like a nephew. Even her husband isn't bad. She's truly amazing and one of the strongest people I know. You might love borders, Choke Me, but I love you.
Bobbi, you've been my friend through thick and thin and even when we didn't have others to turn to, we had us - chicken spaghetti and Law and Order and taboo talk of pornos. Your company has been a life saver through some of the loneliest times in my life. I am so happy to see how far you've come and to see your little girl grow up into such a joy. I'm so proud of you and your family.
I haven't known you as long, Kelly, and I am truly sorry about that. I'm so glad we've become friends and shared as many laughs as we have. Your outlook on life is so refreshing and so much fun and yet so wise. You're an incredible person, and I only hope that one day I can be half the mom you are. I have lots to learn from you.
I don't even know where to begin to explain how awesome Jenny is. She went to welding school. She is an absolute rock star. She's been through so many patrols and hasn't blown up a boat that I think she's something of a loon. I can count on her for anything - a smile, a favor, a conversation... She's such a beautiful person and so giving and so honest. I have a lot to live up to if I want to be the kind of woman Jenny is. She's always been there for me and I just hope I can return that favor someday.
I could go on and on and on about the awesomeness of my friends. I really could. I could get even sappier and seem even more like a lezzie stalker. But I'll leave it here and say that I am so so so fortunate that I've had the chance to make these relationships and I pray every day that I can keep them.
And, oh, one final point: I have to say, thank you, Katie McGrath, for being such a gigantic bitch that I realized being friends with you was a waste so I could devote that much more time to the real people in my life. Had you not been the horrible person you were, I might have missed out on some of the best memories I've ever had the privilege to be a part of.
Here's to the ladies that make my life good...
Much love,
Melissa