Monday, May 16, 2011

Deep Conversations in the Grocery Store

I hate - hate - checking out at the grocery store with kids in tow.  The narrowness of the lane, the brightly-colored candy displays, the smutty Cosmopolitan magazine covers raising questions I don't really want to answer ("Mom, what does 's-e-x' spell?"), etc.

This weekend, my un-doing was the Time magazine with Osama Bin Laden's face on the cover with a big, red "X" across it.

Jack asked, "Mom, why does that guy's face have an X on it?" 

"Because he's gone."

"Where did he go?"

"Uuuuuh... well, he's not alive anymore."

"So he went with Jesus Christ?"

"Um, no."

"Where did he go then?  Why did he die?"

At this point, Justin was looking at me with that annoying "better you than me" face he gets when I am forced to navigate the murky waters of moral education of our children as he stacked box after box of Rice-a-Roni on the conveyor belt and played peek-a-boo with the girls.  I mouthed "douche" at him and turned back to my questioning son.

"Jack, honey, that man was very bad.  He was a bad guy.  He hurt lots and lots of people so our good Army guys had to go and kill him.  He's not in Heaven because he sinned too much."

"But we shouldn't kill!  He did sins?  We don't shoot people.  We don't kill people!"

Sigh.  Great.  So now I'm forced to try to explain a dichotomy that I don't quite understand myself to a 4-year-old and hope that he doesn't apply the same logic to issues at home - I can hear it now: "I hit Jordan because she was hitting Addie and Addie needed me to protect her and hitting was the only thing I could do."

So I did what any self-respecting, loving parent would do...

"Look at all the candy, Jack!"

"Wow! Can I have some Skittles?!"

Phew.  Crisis averted.


Leigh Ann said...

hahaha....i can't say i've never done the same thing. kids just come up with the craziest questions and sometimes its things you can't really explain to them without creating new questions...its a vicious cycle. haha. way to put out the fire! :) haha

Zookeeper Jess said...

Oh geez lol! Too funny!

I too, don't quite understand things like that myself so to explain that wouldn't really come out right! Good work :)

A Little Family of Five said...

Oh, wow....I haven't even begun parenting. My Clark hasn't started asking questions yet. I'm not ready for that. You did good with the Skittles diversion. And your boy has really asked what does s-e-x spell????? EEEEKKKK!!!

Natalie said...

HAHAHA. Totally how I would have dealt with that one too! :P

Katie said...

Lol, not just good Mom moment, GREAT Mom moment... ever think how ironic it is that you probably could have written a 10 page paper on this kind of moral dichotomy for a class in college without (too much) sweat, but answering a child is beyond the reaches of capability? The thing I'd like to point out is what a moral, loving, and smart little boy you've raised to have that kind of conversation :)

MBC Scrapbooking said...

I had a similar conversation about Osama with E...only thank the Lord, it wasn't in public! LOL.
I didn't have the heart to tell her he was dead; just that "we found a very bad man and now he can't hurt people anymore." I am so glad she didn't ask any more! She just wanted me to change the station from Fox News to Clifford;)

MBC Scrapbooking said...

P.S. I e-mailed this to Matt- he adores your family's stories. I think because it makes our little family of 4 seem less crazy? ;)

Lynn said...

Haha, that's great. You're lucky Jack is still able to be distracted that easily!

Bellismom said...

LOL! I love you. Seriously. You crack. me. up.

Mama M. said...

Oh dear, I LOVE you!!

I prolly would've done something similar, but since I'm not as quick on the uptake as you, my diversion would've been more like, "Look Jack!! Wanna know what s-e-x spells?!"

Amber said...

Yeah so that Cosmo did me in too! It actually had the dashes I think and James sounded it out. Lovely. I also turned and said "just pick a candy out!" haha

KimBerly said...

Changing the subject. Perfect! I would have done the same thing.

Nicole said... are too funny. Great diversion!


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