Oh Yeah, Biotches? MY Top 10...

Not to be out-done, here are the top 10 out of the infinite number of reasons I love my husband beyond reason.

1. I am unrestrictedly myself around him at all times. He is the only person I have ever been able to say that about.

2. I know that we would do absolutely anything for each other. And I know that he would do absolutely anything for his children. And I know that there would never be any hesitation.

3. We actually get into arguments over who gets to die first.

4. When he's gone, I even miss the smell of his farts when I roll over at night and realize I've made the blankets gap.

5. He's a stud. ;-)

6. He makes me want to be a better person in all aspects of my life by setting an example I can only hope to come close to meeting.

7. Because I am lucky enough to have him as the father of our children, I don't have to worry that they'll grow up to be amazing individuals.

8. There is no better cure for any ailment - mental, physical, emotional - than being able to snuggle up to him at the end of the day... he has cured many a migraine with the sound of his heartbeat.

9. I am crying writing this because I'm pretty sure I don't deserve him and I know I don't tell him all of these things often enough, but he understands how much I love him because we don't even need words anymore to communicate our feelings.

10. I have been in love with him since I first saw him in Engineering 111 freshman year. My cousin Carolyn can attest to the fact that my pulse actually sped up at the prospect of seeing him, and it still does, to this day.

11. I need to write more than 10 reasons.

12. He is proud of me - not because I am a trophy wife or because I bring in loads of money or win prizes - but because he knows how hard I've worked to accomplish what I have. And he values every single thing I've done, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

I really could keep going. But you've had enough.

Happy Barfing!

A Moment

So I posted a little while ago about how I'm an idiot for continuing to watch my "estrogen-y" shows and reducing myself to tears every Thursday. Well, this week I figured I'd be prepared. I DVR'ed Greys so I could watch it during the day with Jack awake so I could see him running around and get annoyed with him when he chucked Thomas figurines at me and it would take some of the gut-wrenching-ness out of watching his TV counterpart spiral downhill, only to be saved in the nick of time...

FAILURE.

Didn't work AT ALL.

Instead, I scooped Jack into my arms for a huge hug which he initially resisted so I said, "No, you're not going anywhere!" and held him tighter... then I realized the profundity of what I had just said and I think he felt my desperation because he threw his arms around my neck and gave into the embrace as I sobbed against his fluffy little head saying, "not going anywhere" over and over. Yes, I am this pathetic. After a few minutes of this disgusting display of hormones, Jack leaned back in my lap and looked at me, as if to say, "Dude, you going to be alright?" Well of course seeing his quizzical blue eyes searching my face for an answer as to why I'm melting down made me dissolve into more tears and iterations of "I love you". I think he quickly gave up trying to understand me (smart boy) and decided instead to wipe my tears away. Yes, my not-even-two-year-old was sitting on my lap wiping tears off (a little brutally... might have been a combination of wiping tears away and slapping sense into me) my stupid face... all because I can't stop watching Grey's Anatomy. It was a futile effort since his sincerity just made me cry harder. Eventually he rolled his eyes and gave me his Eeyore like, "Fine, if this is what it takes to get you to shut up, take my lovie." I did calm down because he needed me to.

I am so pathetic it's unreal.

Dare I even try watching Private Practice? Of course I will. Because I'm LAME. Oh, and in two weeks they're combining the two shows for a special estrogen-y "EVENT". Fantastic. I'll watch it and hate myself for it.

I've Been Tagged...

* I am: Melissa... mommy, wife, friend
* I want: my little one to be my best buddy forever
* I have: more than so many people, and I never forget that
* I dislike: being pregnant
* I miss: being close to family
* I fear: letting my kids down
* I feel: like a heartburny, farty cow
* I hear: the static on Jack's baby monitor
* I crave: love
* I cry: ALL the time when I snuggle with Jack... I'm so overwhelmed with emotion every time I get close to wrapping my mind around all that he is in my life that I can't go any further than "I love this little miracle with all of me" and end up crying
* I usually: take on way too much
* I search: constantly for the crap I misplace
* I wonder: what my twins will look like
* I regret: nothing... my mistakes have made me who I am
* I love: deeply and unconditionally...
* I care: probably way too much
* I always: see the best in people
* I worry: that I'm not making the most of my time here
* I am not: the kind of person who ditches responsibility
* I remember: enough little details about all conversations to make me very difficult to beat in an argument
* I believe: in the good, honest nature of all people
* I dance: way less than I want to
* I sing: Christmas carols and Backyardigans songs
* I don't always: respond to emails on time...
* I argue: because I can
* I write: because it's one thing I do well enough to put out there for people to judge
* I win: rarely... Jack is very persuasive
* I wish: there were fewer miles between me and the people that make "me" possible
* I listen: to anyone, no matter what
* I don't understand: more and more these days...
* I can usually be found: within a few feet of Jack
* I need: lots and lots of baby crap... yikes
* I forget: to thank God as often as I should
* I am happy: ...and that's all I need

So that ended up being way more profound than I thought it would. Especially for 7:30 in the morning.

Amber, Christine, Bobbi... do it up!

Media Circus Aside...

Well, I'm not 100% on the Obama bandwagon... I'm not going to make this blog political in any way, and I'm totally reserving judgment until we see some of what the new President accomplishes or doesn't... so for that reason I haven't been tuning in to the media coverage of today. I don't want my frustrations over the media's obnoxious tendency to slather everything on nauseatingly thickly to jaundice my views of this administration before the sun sets on its first day. BUT, the political scientist in me couldn't stay entirely away... so I read the text of President Obama's Inaugural Address and found it to be one of the most poignant presidential speeches I've read in YEARS. I found so much profound hope and dignified pride in the words his writers crafted for his delivery, that I had to share one of my favorite quotes:

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new.
But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage
and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things
are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress
throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What
is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the
part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the
world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in
the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of
our character, than giving our all to a difficult task. - President Obama,
January 20, 2009

Wow. I just hope people listen... I hope we aren't a lost cause. I hope my children grow up in a solid America.

So I Don't Hate My Minivan.

It's not exactly the hottest car out there. And it was expensive as hell.

But as mini's go... German Engineering is pretty badass.

And the boys love it.

And my tush loves the heated seats.

I have no idea how to use about 80% of the features and it does this thing where the Bluetooth steals all my phone calls and I'm hopelessly unable to control it and I have to talk at the car when I get or make a phone call and the other person's voice emanates from the various 200 some speakers around the van... But overall... It's kinda cool. In an "I'm a trendier soccer mom than you, so I'm pathetic but it validates me slightly" sort of way.

Not to say you should go out and have Routan babies.

But if you should find yourself preg with twins...

My "Stories"

Alright, so I'm addicted to some pretty estrogen-y TV shows... don't scoff, you are too. Grey's, of course, and also Private Practice... I mean, there are others, like House, The Office and 30 Rock that make the roster, but really the first two are the estrogen-y ones I have to watch by myself because Justin pretty much refuses. Sometimes I can get him into Grey's but never, ever Private Practice.

That really means that I have to watch them alone. And given the estrogen-y-ness of them, along with my pregnancy hormones, alone is not the best way to watch shows intended to slay your heart in every imaginable way. It's like the shows' creators are the sick, twisted rejects of the Hallmark-card writer's family...

Thanks to the magic of DVR, I just caught up on Thursday night's new episodes of both and man, I really REALLY wish I hadn't done so while Jack was sleeping in his crib upstairs, far away from the reach of my hug-seeking arms.

First of all, did the dying kiddo in Grey's really have to be named Jackson? Really? Jack had surgery on his kidney on January 15th of last year... that's coming up this week and although he's fine now, I can't help reflecting on how rough that really was. "Jackson"? Come on. Unfair.

Secondly, thank you, Private Practice, for that kid dying of measles. Why isn't it ever a cute little girl? (Not that girls are expendable, not saying that here!) Every single time something bad happens to a little boy, I see my little boy's face in the story. I'm far from being a paranoid mom, but geez, it was like a double whammy this week! I had no Justin to reassure me that I was just being hormonal and lame, I had no Jack to squeeze and cuddle and annoy with my neediness... I had nothing but the back of the couch to absorb my mascara stains and irrational sniffling.

Holy moly.

And of course, I'll be back for more next week. What is wrong with me?