I've been following MckMama's blog for awhile and always get a kick out of her Not Me! Monday entries... Well, figured I'd give this a try because there are soooo many things that I would never, ever be caught doing. Ever.
I'm not the type of mom that would ignore Jack telling me his toe was bugging him (hehe, you'll get it in a minute) before bed last night. I wouldn't fathom insisting that there was nothing wrong with his toe as I tucked him in. Or roll my eyes when he woke up this morning pointing at his toe and saying, "Eeew, icky." I would NOT, therefore, need to feel guilty when I noticed that he had a smashed cockroach between his big toe and his next toe when I put his socks on.
Because I would NEVER allow us to live in a place infested with cockroaches.
I can't even believe that there might be someone out there like that.
Thank goodness this isn't about me. I'd have some SERIOUS repenting to do.
I mean, it's NOT like I'm hoping my husband's throat canker sores are strep so I can have him home with us for an extra day. Who would wish illness on someone? Not me!
And today being Monday, I am most certainly showered, made-up, dressed, and flaunting perfectly coiffed hair because there is no way I would spend ANOTHER day in leggings and an over sized cardigan with my hair in a bun and 3-day old mascara on my lashes. I mean, gross. I'm certain that my legs are shaved and my nails are painted and I'm spit-up free. I can assure you I'd never spend a week with only one earring in because Jack found it and wanted me to wear it but have long been missing its partner. I wouldn't even consider being so distracted that I forgot for a week that I was sporting a lone earring. And don't worry, I would never mutter things about "saving water and energy" or "conserving shampoo" (because of course I wouldn't ever use cheapo brandless shampoo - only the expensive stuff, right?) or anything like that to justify my actions.
Nor would I stare longingly at alcoholic beverages at the end of the day, thinking I deserve to treat myself to a glass of wine or a mini margarita and decide it wasn't worth the effort of getting out a glass, opening the bottle, washing said glass etc. because I refuse to drink wine from a Thomas the Tank tumbler.
I mean, seriously, I have to have standards.