Monday, October 5, 2009

Not Me! Monday



I've been following MckMama's blog for awhile and always get a kick out of her Not Me! Monday entries... Well, figured I'd give this a try because there are soooo many things that I would never, ever be caught doing. Ever.

I'm not the type of mom that would ignore Jack telling me his toe was bugging him (hehe, you'll get it in a minute) before bed last night. I wouldn't fathom insisting that there was nothing wrong with his toe as I tucked him in. Or roll my eyes when he woke up this morning pointing at his toe and saying, "Eeew, icky." I would NOT, therefore, need to feel guilty when I noticed that he had a smashed cockroach between his big toe and his next toe when I put his socks on.

Because I would NEVER allow us to live in a place infested with cockroaches.

I can't even believe that there might be someone out there like that.

Thank goodness this isn't about me. I'd have some SERIOUS repenting to do.

I mean, it's NOT like I'm hoping my husband's throat canker sores are strep so I can have him home with us for an extra day. Who would wish illness on someone? Not me!

And today being Monday, I am most certainly showered, made-up, dressed, and flaunting perfectly coiffed hair because there is no way I would spend ANOTHER day in leggings and an over sized cardigan with my hair in a bun and 3-day old mascara on my lashes. I mean, gross. I'm certain that my legs are shaved and my nails are painted and I'm spit-up free. I can assure you I'd never spend a week with only one earring in because Jack found it and wanted me to wear it but have long been missing its partner. I wouldn't even consider being so distracted that I forgot for a week that I was sporting a lone earring. And don't worry, I would never mutter things about "saving water and energy" or "conserving shampoo" (because of course I wouldn't ever use cheapo brandless shampoo - only the expensive stuff, right?) or anything like that to justify my actions.

Nor would I stare longingly at alcoholic beverages at the end of the day, thinking I deserve to treat myself to a glass of wine or a mini margarita and decide it wasn't worth the effort of getting out a glass, opening the bottle, washing said glass etc. because I refuse to drink wine from a Thomas the Tank tumbler.

I mean, seriously, I have to have standards.

9 comments:

HD said...

That whole bug in the toes thing happened to me! I had left my shoes in the garage one night and put them on for a day at the flea market. The entire ride down my big toe felt funny, slightly painful, but I ignored it. When we finally got there I took off my shoe to discover a HUGE beetle squished! I almost yacked. Too funny.

Rhonda said...

I love that you need standards...wine out of a Thomas Tumbler....too funny. I'd love to see a picture if you every decided to lower your standards.

Thanks for the laugh.

Shelly said...

LOL that was fun. Everyone needs standards.

Mama M. said...

Aren't Not Me! Monday's fun?! And you're a first timer?! Blech...cockroaches! Thanks for stopping by! Glad I could help out with drying your kitchen floor!! ;)

Jill said...

I was directed to ur blog via mckmamma's not me post.....I have 3...3 and under! 3.5 year old twin girls and 8 month old baby jack! :0)
Kudos to u for having time to update ur blog!!! I haven't since march!

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

Ay Yi Yi.....I cringe at the thought of the bug being between the toes.

I.don't.do.bugs.

You have my kind of standards though.
Keep on rockin'

Tiff said...

Great blog! My oldest was just two and a half when my twins were born, and our fourth arrived shortly after the twins' second birthday. Love your blog, the grocery shopping post brought back memories!

Nicole said...

This is hilarious! Love it! LOL...the cockroach thing made me throw up a little though....I'm just saying....LOL...LOL

Mikaila said...

This is hilarious. :) I love reading other peoples' Not Me Mondays! You did a very good job of writing it, too. :)

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