My Mommy

It is, of course, the eve of Mother's Day, and I've been thinking quite a bit about my mom lately.  Part of it is me wondering, as Justin and I get swarmed by our kiddos - all crying (us included) - how she managed to raise my two siblings and me.  Another part of it is the fact that my family has moved (again) and yet we're still no closer to her.

It's alright.  It is.  My family and I are just doing what she raised me to do.  I'm being the woman she taught me to be and the mother she inspires me daily to become.  It doesn't necessarily make it easy when I'm weighed down with stress and I just want someone to watch my kids so I can have 4 margaritas make me a solid lunch of Spaghetti-O's, burrito with butter and a pickle.

She is one hell of a woman, my mom.  Everything I know about being a woman, wife and mother, I know from her - her triumphs and her failures and all the moments in between that qualify as neither.  She's been my mentor and friend and her strength is unbelievable.  She was with me the moment I became a mother for the first time, and she has been - and will always be - with me every step of the way ever since.  I've learned so much from her, even if sometimes it's what not to do... And probably more important than that, I've learned that I'm going to make my own mistakes - it's just that I can appreciate her all the more for all those I don't have to make. 

She's given me a work ethic that my family can always count on.

She's shown me how to love unconditionally.

She's allowed me to grow and to learn and to experience life for myself.

She's guided me through the crazy whirlwind of motherhood.

She's supported me in each decision I've made.

She's provided me with a shoulder.

And she's nurtured me to the point where I can no longer extricate where my identity begins and her influence ends.

I didn't get her a card for Mother's Day.  I didn't send flowers or a mug or anything like that.  The only gift I can give her that in any way could show her how much she means to me is to prove to her that I'm a woman of whom she can be proud.  I just want to be half the mother she's been.  I want her to know that I love her in such a profound and belly-torquing way that there is no other way to convey it but by showing her. 

I love you, Mu.  Thank you for being my Mommy.