Wednesday, June 30, 2010

You Know You're a Mom When-sDaze

Well, now that I'm back from our road trip (which was bittersweet; I'll post more later about it!) and settling back into a routine, I'm looking forward to blogging and visiting my bloggy buddies' blogs again!  I missed it!  Life got in the way of normalcy though (of course; would I have it any other way?!) as we found a letter from our old Landlord waiting for us when we returned home informing us that he's not going to return our deposit in full based on some idiotic absurdity.  I've spent a few days dealing with attorneys and documenting our problems and we're looking forward to fighting for what's right.  And since that was plenty fun, Jack has decided to heap on more awesomeness with some righteously awful moods lately - probably thanks to the trauma of the trip and routine changes.  Oh, and our house got struck by lightning and needed to have 4 breakers and 4 light bulbs replaced and we've suffered the demise of our XBox.  Though grateful that it was not worse, the ordeal was, nonetheless, ultimately a giant pain in the badonkadonk that kept me from blogging.

So.  With that long-winded explanation as to my absence (which could have been summarized by saying that "I am Melis and my life is absurd." At this point, you all would have known exactly what I meant.) I leave you with You Know You're a Mom When-sDaze from one of my favorite ladies in the world, Arizona Mamma!

Road trips offer unique challenges to parents.  For instance, successful distance driven is no longer measured in terms of distance between gas stops but in distance between potty breaks.  For us, it is often anything over 50 miles at a stretch.

Said potty breaks themselves are also iffy.  We must select appropriate toilets; i.e. those that do not flush themselves.  So while I prefer a fully-automated, brightly-lit modern restroom, Jack prefers those stinky, dingy, one-toilet and sink coffin-like restrooms you need a key from the attendant to open.  They have toilets that look more like those found in a house.  If we have no option but to use a restroom with an auto flush (which is usually the result of a combination of not having many choices and us telling Jack we have no option) I have to straddle the back of the toilet so that my butt blocks the sensor while he goes potty.

Food on a road trip for us is also unique now that I'm a mom.  No longer can I say, "Wow, Subway sounds deliciously healthy; let's stop there."  Can a 13-month-old munch on a sandwich from her car seat as we barrel up the interstate?  No.  I'm relegated to the world of french fries and chicken nuggets or french-toast sticks for breakfast.  Though I bring plenty of fruit and veggies and healthy food for our destination, eating that kind of stuff in the car is too tricky.  So I eat McDonald's 15 times in 2 days.

You know you're a mom (on a road trip) when you elect to clean and pack all day and then drive through the entire night because exhaustion is better than the certain fury of trying to drive with 3 whiny, crying, toy-chucking kiddos who ask to eat or pee every 20 minutes.

And then when you get there and realize you've forgotten to bring a single pair of panties for yourself but each kid has enough clothes to survive a trip twice as long as the one planned.  And rest assured: Woody's hat is safely on his head and each sippy-cup spout is tucked neatly in its lid.

You know you're a mom when you drive in the dead of night not to your mp3 collection or a book on tape.  You don't scan the radio stations as you go for fear of waking up the kids as the music goes in and out of range.  Instead you listen to Cars on repeat because it's better than nothing and they all fell asleep to the soothing sound of Lightning McQueen's voice and you're at loathe to do anything to disrupt their slumber.

Then again, you know there's no sweeter sight in the world than what you see in your rear-view mirror... Three angelic faces all tilted to the same side, barely-there smiles and deep breathing to let you know that they're happy.  They're yours, and they're happy about it and you know it's all worth it.


Arizona Mamma said...

You have such a way with words. Having taken a trip from Arizona to New Orleans via automobile, I found that I could relate to each and every one of the things you mentioned. Car'll have a gay old time!

Oh, and Jack's moods...Addyson is giving me equal trouble for whatever reason. It's wearing me super thin.

Julie said...

Ah..I hear ya having been on a road trip recently. The lack of "proper" toilets led to one severely backed up little boy.. which in turn, led to an emergency room trip the day we returned. Oh, and it happened to be mother's day and we had driven through the night also.

Sounds like we are cut from the same cloth!!

blunoz said...

I can so relate on multiple fronts - such as the potty breaks, little boys that are scared of the self-flushing toilets, not wanting to eat McD's all day every day for several weeks on the road. Reading this brought back memories of our drive across country in September 2008.

Welcome back!

Tanya said...

Welcome back, Mama! I'm glad y'all are safe! Yeah, McD's for "cleaner" eating sucks...but you always feed them so well all the other times! I always avoided the potty break-breaks when we'd drive from FL to MD by driving all through the night...brutal. Then again, I had the ability to CHOOSE when to leave...not the case for y'all. Hope all is well and I want to catch up soon!! Love ya!

Stacey said...

Oh so funny! And the toilet thing...been there, done that!! We've had many discussions about those toilets!


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