Not Me! Monday

I would never be a slacky blogger, so I wouldn't ever have to ride on MckMama's coat-tails, desperate for an excuse to stretch my itchy fingers and dust off my keyboard!

So here we go, since I'm teeming with creative juices of late, I've got plenty of stuff that I can only imagine doing!




FOR instance, I ALWAYS eat healthily and provide for my family well-balanced meals full of nutritional goodness.  I'd never dream of allowing Jack to eat Cheetos for breakfast, nor would I, desperate for a sweet-fix, ever be caught dead standing in the pantry pouring myself a mouthful of Aunt Jemima pancake syrup.

Ick, like, for reals.

And because nutrition is so important to me, I would NEVER decide that my steamed beans were too bland at dinner and shove them onto my toddler's plate when he and Daddy weren't looking.  You know, because it's totally more acceptable for a 2 year old to not eat his veggies than his nursing-twins Mommy.

Yes, sirrie, Bob, all about health here.  No Nor'easter flood-puddle jumping for us... I mean, I'd be totally grossed out if I let my child splash in every puddle between school and home (and if I had accompanied him!) only to find out later that sewage was backing up.  Eeeew, sick!

I also like to hold myself to the highest grooming standards, so I would never be left wondering if my eyebrow hairs grow faster than my leg hairs, or if it just SEEMS like it and if I let my eyebrow hairs get as long as my leg hairs, would they seem to grow as slowly?  And is it an exponential growth-rate where the shorter the hair, the faster it grows and it slows down as I get more and more shaggy?  All of these musings are totally moot points as my legs are always shaved and bows always neatly plucked.  Seriously.**


Likewise, since good manners accompany good grooming, I would never delight in my son's use of the word "deuce" to describe his bowel movement, nor would I praise the statement, "Ow, fock, I hurt me!" for the demonstration of a solid understanding of pronouns at an early age.  I would certainly correct him and explain that "deuce" is not a nice word and should be replaced with "potty" or "feces" or "bowel movement" and that "fock" is a terrible word and that I have no idea where he heard it since I would never, ever use it 30 times a day once in my life and neither should he.

You know what? There are plenty - PLENTY - of other things I'd be ashamed of myself for doing or saying or not doing or not saying.  BUT I am going to try to divert my creativity to more, better posts and especially stop procrastinating and go ahead and do my "awards" post, as well as the girls' next food: Butternut Squash.  Yikes, lots to do... Thankfully I always am totally on top of everything!  (*grin*)


**Disclaimer: I haven't got busy eyebrows - I just have stragglers that need to be plucked to MAINTAIN my arches.