So, I'm sure our announcement left you with some burning questions... I'll go ahead dish, mmkay?
First of all, as first trimesters go, this one wasn't too bad. I had some nausea and lots of fatigue (which is generally why you found me absent from commenting on your blogs as often as I'd like, or remiss in posting on my own) but in general, this baby has been pretty good to me, considering the other three have - ahem - not been as forgiving. I mean, saying, "Jordan, can you please hurry up with those molars because Mommy is trying to gestate a baby and I'm too tired to listen to your whining" doesn't really get you anywhere.
To that effect, any first trimester with 3 kids 3 and under already making your life chaos is pretty much something I'd advise against... you know, except for the whole part where you don't get a baby after 40 weeks without the first trimester...
Anyway, one of the worst parts of all of this ended up being my decision to use cloth diapers. My nose has been super sensitive and ANY smell - good or bad - sets me a-gaggin' so scraping fresh "I'm teething and just ate corn and 4 crayons"-style poop out of cloth diapers into the toilet generally left me weak and shaky and my stomach totally empty. Talk about a bummer. I'm not totally over the smell thing, so if you can pray to the gods of solid poop for the next week or so, I'd really appreciate it.
Aside from physically, I'm feeling basically blessed. Overwhelmed with love for this kiddo already, and sad but happy because I think he ("he"... in my house, you're innocent until proven guilty) is our last and I've not even held him in my arms and I'm already lamenting the last time he smiles without teeth or the last time I puree baby food or the last time I put him to my breast or the last diaper I'll change or the last time his hair has that downy-soft "baby" feel... It was horrifically hard with the older 3 to let those things go, and I'm pretty certain that the passing of each milestone is going to dissolve me into a sobbing mess in the corner of my closet... *sigh*
I mean, here's the deal: we were actively trying to avoid a pregnancy at this point in our lives. A fourth was on our radar, but we were planning (hah!) to wait for a bit longer before we started serious discussions. But our hearts were open, so I guess that trumps what our rational brains were saying. Anyway, two pretty darned reliable methods of birth control failed (no, not operator error, I promise; I flounced into my doctor's office for my yearly exam a few days before the test came back as positive, utterly confident that there was no way a pregnancy was even remotely possible) putting this baby into an impossibly small percentage of probability... which makes his presence in our lives nearly miraculous. And for that, I am both grateful and still a little mystified. (Though, despite all the love and happiness, I'm still considering the company named for a Greek city a bill for college tuition in 19 years.)
The kids are doing great with everything; the girls understand nearly nothing, but Jack is excited and loves to pat my belly and then ask me to pat his (where his baby is also growing) and Addison loves all things baby - she's very sweet and gentle and loving. I think she'll do wonderfully well... Jordan... well, Jordan will no longer the "the" baby of the family, so I think that'll irk her a bit since she already feels she doesn't get enough (constant) attention, but then again, she is full of surprises so I'm just going to sit back and watch.
I'll leave you with some stats, in case you were wondering... or in case you needed someone to point and laugh at today or in the future when you're starting to think I've got my shit together:
When this baby is born, Jack will be 4 years, 3 weeks old. The girls will be 22 months old. There will be 4 kids, 4 and under in my household, and for a year, there will be 3 under 3 again.. actually, 3 kids 2 and under, if that sounds nuttier. For that matter, for two months, I will have an incredible 3 kids under 2. In five years, I'll have had 4 children. Woah.
Truly, it shouldn't be too bad. They're close in age which will make things much easier... for now. At least, that's what I tell myself. Stay tuned... it's gonna get crazy (er, crazIER)!
I also updated, and will continue to update, The Exhibits page as this whole thing unfolds... Thanks for being a part of our incredible experience!
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