Monday, January 11, 2010

Not Me! Monday

Does it ever seem like the time between Mondays is waaaaay shorter than the time between Fridays?  Yeah, I know, that's totally impossible and all that, but tell me it doesn't feel like it.  And since that's the case, it always astounds me how much I don't do between Mondays, leaving me with absolutely nothing to write about along with MckMama and all the others during this most cleansing of blog carnivals.

So, since I am of course, totally into New Year's Resolutions and I always keep them and would never have abandoned that practice sometime around my 12th year of life, I naturally made a list of uber-ambitious resolutions including whipping my mushy, toneless, amoeba-like body into shape.   (Not that I'm not already a pinnacle of fitness, of course... um.)  Indeed, I'm so ambitious I would never turn to something as kitschy as Wii Fit to help me do something - anything hone my already stringent exercise routine.  And since each calorie burned and each minute of exercise is carefully charted as I progress towards that goal I of course set, I wouldn't EVER allow my toddler to hula-hoop his day away with my Mii, racking up false progress.  Uh... yeah, never....

Right.  Anyway.  That is also NOT my cup of coffee in the background - everyone knows that exercise requires one to hydrate with water and NOT coffee.  For that matter, I may as well inform you that there would NEVER be Cheet-o crumbs on my Wii board that fell off my shirt while I was doing yoga.  Never. For shame!

Also part of that huge list of resolutions that of course I made is a dedication to conservation.  Though, I understand, as a former Prius driver, naturally I am already near perfection in this endeavor, there is always room for improvement.  So I'd never consider using bath-time as a way to occupy the kids, even when they aren't dirty because that would be a waste of water and natural gas and a $300 utility bill is not worth the 45 minutes of relative peace I get out of a bath.

Finally, you'll all be shocked to know that yes, I too, occasionally have a less than perfect house so I've added to my resolutions a devotion to maintaining a meticulous household.  This in no way will be an easy task since I'll actively need to search for things to improve upon, obviously.  But rest assured that I wouldn't ever assume I was fulfilling that goal by using an entire box of baby wipes to scrub down my couch after I found a snot-spot on it and deciding that it was time to try to de-baby-bodily-function-ify the furniture.  I mean, clearly my couches are already perfectly spotless and such mediocre cleaning practices would go against several of my afore-mentioned resolutions, not to mention my already-superior nature.

Don't worry, I'm also never sarcastic.   


Kate said...

Some great "not me" stuff!

Mrs. Frogster said...

hmmm I have not thought of getting the extra calories with my Wii Fit that way! great idea...
I also have three kiddies age three and under! well little miss Drama Queen is turning four on Wednesday, so I guess that will no longer be true then.

Kelli W said...

Too funny about letting your kiddo play for you on the Wii! If we had one, I would probably do the same thing:)

The Thompsons said...

LOL Love the "false progress" on the Wii...I had to sell mine so I would feel less guilty everytime I saw it sitting over in the corner all by itself collection dust.LOL Happy Monday!

MBC Scrapbooking said...

Great post!! :)
My MIL and SIL just got a Wii Fit- they say it reprimands you if you don't do it enough? If so, let J use it as a drumstick or hammer or something;)
I also have largely unattainable resolutions. Showering and dressing daily? Not happening in the least.

Peanut said...

I wouldn't even get on our Wii Fit board once I found out it weighs you. I really didn't want to take criticism from a piece of plastic.


Related Posts with Thumbnails

What I Write About...

babyfood making (14) blogging (30) Brain Vomit (11) breastfeeding (3) bugs (2) children (88) cooking (5) crafts (1) family (28) friendship (10) germs (4) house (6) housework (41) humor (50) life (60) manners (3) marriage (12) me (40) parenting (46) pet bunny (5) photographs (64) politics (1) pregnancy (15) recipes (2) reflections (50) relationships (5) school (2) summer (10) toddler food (5) TV (3) twins (19) weird (4)