So, since I am of course, totally into New Year's Resolutions and I always keep them and would never have abandoned that practice sometime around my 12th year of life, I naturally made a list of uber-ambitious resolutions including whipping my mushy, toneless, amoeba-like body into shape. (Not that I'm not already a pinnacle of fitness, of course... um.) Indeed, I'm so ambitious I would never turn to something as kitschy as Wii Fit to help me
Right. Anyway. That is also NOT my cup of coffee in the background - everyone knows that exercise requires one to hydrate with water and NOT coffee. For that matter, I may as well inform you that there would NEVER be Cheet-o crumbs on my Wii board that fell off my shirt while I was doing yoga. Never. For shame!
Also part of that huge list of resolutions that of course I made is a dedication to conservation. Though, I understand, as a former Prius driver, naturally I am already near perfection in this endeavor, there is always room for improvement. So I'd never consider using bath-time as a way to occupy the kids, even when they aren't dirty because that would be a waste of water and natural gas and a $300 utility bill is not worth the 45 minutes of relative peace I get out of a bath.
Finally, you'll all be shocked to know that yes, I too, occasionally have a less than perfect house so I've added to my resolutions a devotion to maintaining a meticulous household. This in no way will be an easy task since I'll actively need to search for things to improve upon, obviously. But rest assured that I wouldn't ever assume I was fulfilling that goal by using an entire box of baby wipes to scrub down my couch after I found a snot-spot on it and deciding that it was time to try to de-baby-bodily-function-ify the furniture. I mean, clearly my couches are already perfectly spotless and such mediocre cleaning practices would go against several of my afore-mentioned resolutions, not to mention my already-superior nature.
Don't worry, I'm also never sarcastic.