Monday, January 11, 2010

Not Me! Monday

Does it ever seem like the time between Mondays is waaaaay shorter than the time between Fridays?  Yeah, I know, that's totally impossible and all that, but tell me it doesn't feel like it.  And since that's the case, it always astounds me how much I don't do between Mondays, leaving me with absolutely nothing to write about along with MckMama and all the others during this most cleansing of blog carnivals.



So, since I am of course, totally into New Year's Resolutions and I always keep them and would never have abandoned that practice sometime around my 12th year of life, I naturally made a list of uber-ambitious resolutions including whipping my mushy, toneless, amoeba-like body into shape.   (Not that I'm not already a pinnacle of fitness, of course... um.)  Indeed, I'm so ambitious I would never turn to something as kitschy as Wii Fit to help me do something - anything hone my already stringent exercise routine.  And since each calorie burned and each minute of exercise is carefully charted as I progress towards that goal I of course set, I wouldn't EVER allow my toddler to hula-hoop his day away with my Mii, racking up false progress.  Uh... yeah, never....



Right.  Anyway.  That is also NOT my cup of coffee in the background - everyone knows that exercise requires one to hydrate with water and NOT coffee.  For that matter, I may as well inform you that there would NEVER be Cheet-o crumbs on my Wii board that fell off my shirt while I was doing yoga.  Never. For shame!

Also part of that huge list of resolutions that of course I made is a dedication to conservation.  Though, I understand, as a former Prius driver, naturally I am already near perfection in this endeavor, there is always room for improvement.  So I'd never consider using bath-time as a way to occupy the kids, even when they aren't dirty because that would be a waste of water and natural gas and a $300 utility bill is not worth the 45 minutes of relative peace I get out of a bath.

Finally, you'll all be shocked to know that yes, I too, occasionally have a less than perfect house so I've added to my resolutions a devotion to maintaining a meticulous household.  This in no way will be an easy task since I'll actively need to search for things to improve upon, obviously.  But rest assured that I wouldn't ever assume I was fulfilling that goal by using an entire box of baby wipes to scrub down my couch after I found a snot-spot on it and deciding that it was time to try to de-baby-bodily-function-ify the furniture.  I mean, clearly my couches are already perfectly spotless and such mediocre cleaning practices would go against several of my afore-mentioned resolutions, not to mention my already-superior nature.

Don't worry, I'm also never sarcastic.   

6 comments:

Kate said...

Some great "not me" stuff!

Jeanette said...

hmmm I have not thought of getting the extra calories with my Wii Fit that way! great idea...
I also have three kiddies age three and under! well little miss Drama Queen is turning four on Wednesday, so I guess that will no longer be true then.

Kelli @ RTSM said...

Too funny about letting your kiddo play for you on the Wii! If we had one, I would probably do the same thing:)

The Thompsons said...

LOL Love the "false progress" on the Wii...I had to sell mine so I would feel less guilty everytime I saw it sitting over in the corner all by itself collection dust.LOL Happy Monday!

Christine:) said...

Great post!! :)
My MIL and SIL just got a Wii Fit- they say it reprimands you if you don't do it enough? If so, let J use it as a drumstick or hammer or something;)
I also have largely unattainable resolutions. Showering and dressing daily? Not happening in the least.
Love,
C:)

Peanut said...

I wouldn't even get on our Wii Fit board once I found out it weighs you. I really didn't want to take criticism from a piece of plastic.

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